Q. A man rides into town on friday he stays at a local hotel for 3 days then rides out of town on friday how is this possible?

A.  the mans horse is named friday

Q. A farmer has a truk full of heavy grain so he hires help the farmer grabs 2 bags of the heavy grain and lifts it over his shoulders the hired help though grabs 2 bags and lifts it over his shoulder who is carry the heavyer bag.

A. The hired help is only carring 2 bags not bags of grain just bags.

Q. How do you fit an elephant into a refrigerater?

A. chop him up

Q. thers a meeting at pride rock ( yes the one on lion king) All the animals are there but 1 wich one is it?

A. the elephant you choped him up remember ( you sick Bastard)

Q. Your on the mississippi river and you have to get across but you have no supplies and the water is infested with man eating crocodiles how do you get across without bieng eatin?

A. you swim across ....why you my ask because the crocodiles are at pride rock remember. 

Q. A very short man goes to work on a 30 story building and he works on the 30th floor, on all days but the ones that it rains on, he takes the elevator 20 floors then gets out and walks the other 10 floors but on rainy days he goes all the way up to his office in the elevator why does he do this?

A.like I said he is a very short man so on sunny days he could not reach the 21st floor and up but on rainy days he has an umbrella so he "can" reach the 21st floor and up with his umbrella.

Q. A man kills his wife and a lot of people witness it but no one accuses him of murder why not?

A.He was the hang man and she was sentenced to death in the the year 1433.

Q. What word in capital letters is spelt the same upside down?

A. SWIMS

Q. What do the dead eat that if aten by the living they would die?

A. Nothing.

 Q. WHats at the begining of the end and at the end of time?

A. E       Time and end

Q.NEW! There are 2 ducks in front of 2 other ducks.
There are 2 ducks behind 2 other ducks.
There are 2 ducks beside 2 other ducks.
How many ducks are there?

A. 4 (see) x x

              x x

Q.NEW! Did you know that if you live within 5 miles of a cemetary you can't be buried there?
Why?

A. If you're living you can't be buried! (Unless of course you want to)

Q.NEW! Break it and it is better, immediately set and harder to break again.
What is it?

A. A record ( not a musical one either)

Q.NEW! What is it that was given to you, belongs only to you, and yet everyone uses it more than you do?

A. Your name

 Q.NEW! This thing all things devours, birds, beasts, trees, flowers; gnaws iron, bites steel; grinds hard stone to meal, slays king, ruins town, and beats high mountains down.
What is it?

A. Time ( yeah, but can it dance).